Tag Archive - Ice Age 3

Breeding Stupid

This post is sort of a “Part 2″ if you will of my rant about Ice Age 3:  Dawn of the Dinosaurs a while back.  I titled that Ice Age 3:  Timeline Goes Awry because of the sheer idiocy of the premise of the movie.  To think that someone with a computer can just make stuff up as they see fit.  It’s a bit infuriating to me to say the least, even now, to think about the fact that the movie made it past an editor, let alone conception and reason.

But this is a “Part 2″ because last night, I was out with my wife at a popular Disney restaurant called Rainforest Cafe and had a similar encounter there.  Amidst a whole, benefit-of-the-doubt mentality, I tried hard not to say something to anyone that worked there.  But since we’re on the internet, where everyone can complain about anything, let’s complain for the sake of intelligence and hopefully, one day, we’ll stop the world from breeding stupidity.  And maybe, just maybe, my kids won’t turn out to be idiots.  It’s a prayer of mine, and the world’s fighting hard against it.

So, with that, let’s take a look at a rainforest.  Smell the moist, humid air.  Look around, the area surrounding you is teeming with vegetation.  Maybe some monkeys squealing in the trees, some birds squawking above and around you.  Maybe a river runs wildly in the distance.  It’s hard to hear over the animals chattering and the bugs scurrying.  Right?

This seems like an all-around normal depiction of a rainforest.  It’s safe.  I’m not claiming any particular species or animals other than monkeys.  And, I’m not stating location.

Okay, now picture this restaurant.  Dense “vegetation” covering the walls and ceiling.  Looks really cool with the monkeys swinging from trees.  Then there’s… coral and salt water fish?  Okay, whatever, it’s a cool aquarium… We’ll look over the fact that rainforests do not, in fact, house coral reefs and salt water fish…  The music is… Latin-esque?  Mardi Gras even?  What?  It seems right though… I guess… rainforests are only in Latin America, right?  No?

What the heck?  A ZEBRA?  An elephant?  A rhino?

Somewhere in the world, a kid is failing a test on animals in a rainforest, or even animals that live in the plains, because Disney decided to put whatever animals they wanted to into their rainforest themed restaurant.

The problem isn’t Disney’s rampant apathy for rainforest realism or their utter lack of trying to make a believable rainforest experience, and it isn’t Dreamworks’ complete disregard for HOW HISTORY HAPPENED.  The problem lies more in the fact that these are the people that children listen to.  They’re the ones creating the movies and the memories that children will remember forever.  And, they’re stupid.

Am I the only one not wanting to breed stupidity?  Cause lately, it seems like I’m up to my neck in a pile of it.

Ice Age 3: Timeline Goes Awry

Remember back, when times were good, and Land Before Time had just come out.  It was a happy time.  With Little Foot, Ducky, Cera, and the gang.  It was a story for everyone.  About the extinction of dinosaurs, about the hope of that far-off land just teeming with life and prosperity.  Even when everything looked bleak, there was the promise of star-leaf trees as far as the eye could see.

But then the made 7 more.  That’s right.  7.

Frankly, I thought that the dinosaurs honestly would have gone extinct during the series…

I never watched anything but the original because there’s something about sequels to children’s movies where the creators just don’t think that children are going to care at all and their parents are going to buy anything and everything the company puts out (ie, Aladdin 2 and 3, Cinderella 2, etc.).

Now, there are some that are decent (so I hear).  Toy Story 2 was decent.  From what I understand, Shrek 2 and 3 were okay.  Ice Age 2 is apparently alright.

Here’s where I have a problem with Ice Age 3 though.  Ice Age 3:  The Dawn of the Dinosaurs.  What the heck?

Doesn’t anyone look up information about this stuff?  No?  Are you lost too?

Well, let’s all take a little history lesson…

THE ICE AGE HAPPENED AFTER DINOSAURS.

There.  You can look it up.  It’s probably even correct on Wikipedia.  The fact that it made me question myself is frustrating.  Yesterday, I posted about Britain breaking down the English language piece by piece (or is that peice by peice?), and I thought that was bad enough.

But completely ignoring the scientifically proven timeline of life on Earth…  That’s something completely different.  The first Ice Age had neanderthals in it, and that was okay.  It was the Ice Age.  People were around during mammoths.  We have paintings.  But… that’s POST-dinosaurs!

To recap:  If you feel like making your kids dumber, check out this movie.  It is in 3D…  So, it’ll be 3-Dimensionally WRONG.

Ugh.  I don’t get it.  If you want Dinosaurs… just make a prequel?

Anyone understand their logic?  Or the logic of making HORRIBLE movies?  Please explain.