Brian C. Russell

Let me start off by saying that I started off in film school.  Well, before film school, I started off as an entrepreneur.  In middle school, I decided that I would start drawing comic books.  This love for comic books translated into more simple comic strips (and if I ever find my old strips, I’ll be sure to post them). From there, I watched The Matrix and was convinced I needed to do special effects.

From there it went to directing movies.  I went to film school and discovered that I wanted a family and a steady job, and really liked the idea of being the god of my little world, so I started writing.  I self-published my first book in 2004, and haven’t finished a project since (more on that some other time).

As I dug through a box, I found a letter, written on the tithing envelopes from our church, in my handwriting.  I don’t remember how long ago I wrote this, but I found it very enlightening into myself.

I realize now, that in spite of all of my hard work, my creativity, my money spent, my time spent, that it’s not all me.  I’ve come to recognize that I believe God is breaking me.

I guess I’m upset because I need it to be done.  I’ve been writing for tons of success based on everything that I door have done.  I need to give up.

I can’t do it on my own.

I will always fail.

But, perhaps I’ve been running away from God because I’m afraid to give my talents away.  Maybe, just maybe, I’m afraid that I would become like all of the other “lame” writers and movie directors that plague Christian media.

What I’m forgetting is that God doesn’t want to kill my creativity for His own desires.  He wants to help me.  To mold my creativity.  To use the gift that He has given me to its fullest extent.

I will never be successful on my own because of what I know about God.  He just won’t let me.  I know too much.

I will always fail.

Maybe not at the beginning, maybe not for a long time.

But God will break me.

He is breaking me.  And I need to give up.

Because He doesn’t fail.

May the Lord break you.  May you see the Lord working in your life.  Let Him take over your life, and let Him steer your career.  Don’t be afraid to fail.  Don’t be afraid to be lame.  Live fully in God.  Tell others about Him.

And create.

For this week’s Discussions Ahoy, I’m asking about Bibles (and yes, this is the most violent picture I could find).

Everyone has their favorite Bible, and some are VERY opposed to some.  I have had the same Bible for some time, and… well… some people were saying that it’s geared towards teens.  This would make sense because I’ve had the same type of Bible (not the exact same Bible, but the same type because I swiped a new one when mine fell apart) since I was in middle school.

My Bible has been awesome for me though.  It’s the Quest Study Bible (NIV).  The footnotes are tremendous and really help me out when I’m trying to work some stuff out.  It doesn’t have those teen-purposed pages on racy subjects like SEX and LUST or anything like that, but… frankly, pages are falling out again, and I think I need a new one.

So, with that knowledge, and the knowledge that Bibles are expensive, I want to have a good idea of what I want when I head over to the book store or Christian book store (might be cheaper at the regular book store).

The most information that I have on different Bibles was from Jon Acuff at Stuff Christians Like in his post about Bibles comparing to G.I. Joe characters.  I’m a fan of Snake Eyes, so I’m leaning towards the English Standard Version…

What Bible do you use?  Why do you use it?  Why not others?  What are the pitfalls?

There are times in my Christian faith that seem like the sunrise.  I can’t stop looking at it, admiring what God has done.  Looking at the beauty of it, snapping pictures (and if you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or my Flickr, then you know I love me some sky pictures).

Sunrises are beautiful.  Everyone, aside from the waking up early, want to see the sunrise.  I’m not going to look up the science of why, but the sunrise makes the sun look beautiful and a deep, reddish-orange and I love it.

There’s nothing all that beautiful about noon.  Everything is going well, there’s no clouds in the sky, but, it’s boring.  The sun doesn’t seem like it’s moving, it’s plain, and you can’t look at it.  And, it’s burning you.

That’s right, during the “noon” times of faith, sometimes you struggle.  You don’t want to be outside, you might not want to do it.  You want to go in and sit in the air conditioning.

I would say that for a while, I was in my noon time.  I didn’t want to do it.  I didn’t want to believe.  Could I deny what I believed, no, but I would consider it a crisis of faith.  I’ve never been a fan of nonfiction books, but out of the blue, I got a hankering to read some.  Not just some, but some theology-heavy ones.

It started with reading through The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn with my wife.  Now, I’ve been reading through Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper and at the same time, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller.  I couldn’t tell you where the urge to read these books came from, but I started to get signs that I was supposed to read them. We had 2 copies of The Treasure Principle, I was given 8 copies of Don’t Waste Your Life out of the blue, and my wife already had Blue Like Jazz.

These have been great books for me in my stagnant noon phase.  They’re encouraging, yet not encouraging me to stay stagnant.  They’re helping me to think through some of the issues that I’ve had.  And, I’m sure, if you’re reading this, you’ve been able to see some of that thought process because that’s how I think.

It sure seems like God is trying to help me get back to sunrise.  I’m starting to see the beauty in my faith again, and it’s big and colorful and I love it.  But, I’m also realizing, that it can’t always be sunrise.  Life has to move on, and noon is where you really grow.

Hello all you readers out there that actually read this ridiculous ranting about anything. I wanted to update you all on why there were LOTS of posts, and then NOTHING.

Well, as I am trying to become a writer, I need to prioritize what I’m writing. If all I write is a bunch of retarded nonsense about whatever irked me for the week, the I’d be a bad fiction writer. Not that people that do that aren’t good writers. On the contrary, I admire someone who can be this way so very often and with such clever wording.

I am trying to further my fiction writing though, as I feel called for that, and that’s what I’ve been writing for the past few weeks. I’m co-authoring a fiction book, and it’s going to be amazing!

Don’t get me wrong here, there will be things that rub me the wrong way and need to be addressed on here. I will not withhold my rage from you! Do not fear! And, if I see something just plain silly, I’ll probably report that too. It just likely won’t be as consistent.

I apologize to all of you who were really getting into my randomness, and I promise it won’t stop, but maybe it will be more thought-through (stranger things have happened).

Also, for those people asking about my credit card situation… Got new ones, still don’t know anything else, and the excess money was stricken from the record (thank God!).

To recap: Expect delays in posting.

Oh, and the posting at The Underfold will continue as scheduled (because I have to do that one!), and White Board Artwork (randomly).

Hello all you readers out there that actually read this ridiculous ranting about anything. I wanted to update you all on why there were LOTS of posts, and then NOTHING.

Well, as I am trying to become a writer, I need to prioritize what I’m writing. If all I write is a bunch of retarded nonsense about whatever irked me for the week, the I’d be a bad fiction writer. Not that people that do that aren’t good writers. On the contrary, I admire someone who can be this way so very often and with such clever wording.

I am trying to further my fiction writing though, as I feel called for that, and that’s what I’ve been writing for the past few weeks. I’m co-authoring a fiction book, and it’s going to be amazing!

Don’t get me wrong here, there will be things that rub me the wrong way and need to be addressed on here. I will not withhold my rage from you! Do not fear! And, if I see something just plain silly, I’ll probably report that too. It just likely won’t be as consistent.

I apologize to all of you who were really getting into my randomness, and I promise it won’t stop, but maybe it will be more thought-through (stranger things have happened).

Also, for those people asking about my credit card situation… Got new ones, still don’t know anything else, and the excess money was stricken from the record (thank God!).

To recap: Expect delays in posting.

Oh, and the posting at The Underfold will continue as scheduled (because I have to do that one!), and White Board Artwork (randomly).