Extreme-Niche Christian T-Shirts

August 24, 2009 in Rantology with 13 Comments

I’d like to prepare you all for what will confuse some, and make every single one of you groan.  This is going to be good.

So, whilst at work today, I had an epiphany.  Christian t-shirts aren’t even close to being niched enough.  What about the very small, nerdy constituency of Christians that aren’t getting any use out of a “God’s Gym” or “Original Old Navy” shirt.

I decided to create some of my own ideas for extreme-niche Christian audiences.  So, if you don’t understand, you’re probably not in the field, so, ask your friends or ashamedly google it from the safety of your own home, then groan with the rest of us.

Photography:  ”I rely on Emmanuel focus.”

Writing (or any form of typesetting):  ”Everything I write is Christ-justified.”

Construction:  ”God snaps my life’s chaulk line.”

UberNerds:  ”God is 01100001011101110110010101110011011011110110110101100101″

L337 (which is technically still UberNerds):  ”God pwns.”   “And the n00bs shall be first…”    ”God is the uber-haxor.”   “He saw that it was good, ‘w00t’.”

Well, I can see where my expertise mainly lies…  Anyway, what can you come up with?  Lay down some sweet niche love that you’d like to see on a t-shirt.  Do it.   Who knows what’ll happen with the ideas!?

13 Responses to “Extreme-Niche Christian T-Shirts”

  1. bman2damax August 24, 2009 at 5:29 pm #

    Don't lie. This is a spectacular idea!

    Reply
  2. MattG August 24, 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    This is abominable. I’m not a violent man, but visualization of someone wearing these “products” arouses temptations to carry out acts of holy war against them.

    Reply
  3. vanityofvanities August 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm #

    Whoa. I'm not sure I can visit your blog again after that…

    Reply
  4. bman August 24, 2009 at 9:00 pm #

    Photography: “Open the aperture of my heart, Lord.”

    Reply
  5. xy August 25, 2009 at 7:49 am #

    Those are some of the dumbest shirt ideas i have ever seen and that is why i love them.

    except the l337 ones. those ones are just dumb as all l337 things are.

    Reply
  6. bman August 25, 2009 at 9:22 am #

    Agreed about everything. Maybe I should come up with one for people that move all the time? haha.

    Reply
  7. bman August 25, 2009 at 9:56 am #

    Chuck Norris fans: God MADE Chuck Norris awesome.

    Reply
  8. Jillian Strong August 25, 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    AHAHAHA… My favorite: “And the n00bs shall be first…”

    Reply
  9. Master Nyte August 25, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

    Dude, I TOTALLY got it. . .

    Satan's Insolence, FOR THE LOSE! ;) It's been what? two weeks working with the execs. . . have they driven you this batty already?!?!?! ;p

    Reply
  10. bman August 26, 2009 at 5:49 am #

    To be fair, I think I should change it to “And the n00bs shall be L337.”

    Reply
  11. bman August 26, 2009 at 5:49 am #

    That one's a pretty great idea too.

    Reply
  12. bill October 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm #

    Photography: ITS B&W

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks:

  1. Extreme-Niche Christian T-shirts Part Deux | Brian C. Russell - August 26, 2009

    [...] something to be said about the amount of loathesome comments I received for my original ideas.  Awesome.  That’s [...]

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