Cedric Diggory Can’t Die!

So, I have a sad confession to make to the Internet…  I watched Twilight, and I’m a man. 

Well, I was a man, but that was before I sacrificed my manhood to a chick flick disguised as a vampire movie.  BUT, at least now I can rip on it with something to back up my complaints.

So, let me start by saying, I didn’t like the movie.  I hadn’t heard much about it, except that it was great.  The books, as usual, were better, but the movie was great too.  On the day the movie came out on DVD, Twitter was… atwitter… with millions of little girls (and housewives…) talking about how awesome it was.  Facebook is rampant with “I love Edward Cullen” buttons on people’s pages.

I watched it.  Okay?  I watched it.  And let me say right now, that I don’t really care to read the books after having watched the movie.  And before you get all wanna-be vampire crazy on me, let me explain.

Twilight had a lot of things going for it.  It had teen angst, “vampires”, and a star-crossed love story.  That combination worked great for some other stories (ie. Underworld), but it doesn’t work here.

I am a pretty big fan of vampire movies.  Heck, I like the story of vampires.  Vampire mythology.  I like vampire stuff so much, I watched Twilight…  BUT, when you take a character so steeped in literature and you say, “Well, I’m going to change their attributes to something lame and ignore things that would be cool,” it makes me angry.

In Twilight, the Vampires are faster, stronger, and drink blood.  Normal, right?  How’s this though:  The ONLY reason they can’t go out in the sunlight is not because they will die… No, it’s because their skin sparkles…  

Sorry, I just threw-up a bit in my mouth at the lameness of that.

Oh, and each vampire has their own “special ability”.  One of them can see the future, another can read minds, one is good at… hunting…?  Their reflection shows up, which is a bummer because that was always a cool effect in movies and stuff (ie. Lost Boys).

As for the actual movie itself, I didn’t think the effects were that great.  The “quick movements” were cheesy and looked like a cartoon, but then again, maybe I’ve just been over-exposed to decently produced films…  Oh!  Here’s a good example:  It looked like it was a Sci-Fi Channel movie (is that SyFy now?)…  

Not to mention, the actor they got to play this vicious, yet heartwarming vampire Edward Cullen was the kid from Harry Potter that played Cedric Diggory.  He is awkward looking and seems awkward in the role of someone that is powerful and influential…  But I thought the same thing about him when he was in Harry Potter, and reveled in the fact that he was Cedric Diggory… if you know what I mean…

To recap:  I was disappointed with this movie, but I will say that I think if someone were watching me, I would have looked pretty lame at my house watching this.  My wife was out, I’m doing laundry, cooking some dinner and watching a teen chick flick…

Bring the on the disputes Twilight fans, your vampires sparkle.