Screw the bailout… What about this witch situation?
Have you ever thought about how crazy everyone is?
I know I have, and, frankly, it’s scary to think about. Let’s take this whole government bailout thing, for instance. We’re going into a time of depression… No wait… we’ve been in a recession… No, that’s not right… Um… stuff’s screwed up.
There’s nothing better to do during a national (potentially global) crisis than to BLAME people. Now granted, blaming is what America does best, but let’s be honest with ourselves… Who’s really to blame?
It’s like a game of Clue. Is it the President’s fault with his tax-cutting and capital spending? Is it the greedy jerks on Wall Street? Is it the underwriting buttheads at Mortgage companies? Is it the Federal Government? Is it the Whole Government? Is it greasy Oil Companies?
McCain? Obama? You? Me? Congress?
If you ask England what the problem is with their situation, they make sure to tell everyone that we’re crazy for turning down the bailout.
Here’s the answer: It’s everyone in the everywhere with the everything.
Got that? This is a bit of everyone’s fault. And, I know, it might not be you. Heck, it might not be me, but this isn’t ONE person’s mistake. But hey… who cares about the bailout when we can point fingers at everyone!
There’s a witch! It was Goody Palin, she’s a witch! “She turned me into a newt!”
“I got better…”
Now, on the bright side, Russia’s been acting up lately, so we’ll be able to do real witch hunts again. I wasn’t alive to be able to accuse my neighbors of being a Red, but it looks like I might have my chance.
So, to recap: When faced with a difficult situation, it is in proper etiquette to say something like this, “What financial crisis? Did you know McCain is an evil warlock?” Or, “Flooding? That’s nothing, did you know Obama is a space alien?” Or, you could keep it simple and say, “Disaster? I’ll be on vacation that week.”
Keep that in mind when you’re dealing with things throughout your life. It’s worked for politicians this far.
