You just got foglobulated, MoFo!

As ridiculous as this title seems, I’ve heard worse while playing Halo 3 with friends online. this one has come out of my mouth verbatim. But I’ll get to that later. Most of the time, I’m making fun of the kids that actually say stuff like this in seriousness, but nonetheless, I’m guilty of this.

Playing video games online is a nerdy enough thing to do. Why in the world do people feel that they have any place making fun of someone else in video game waiting rooms. It’s the kind of stuff like, “You guys suck!” that really just makes me wonder. Who sucks more?

Losing in a game online means one of two things. Either you really do, in fact, suck big time (i.e. staring a a wall the whole game trying to shoot nothing, not knowing how to jump, falling repeatedly off cliffs) and maybe you should re-think spending money on videogames, or you just don’t play as much as the people you’re playing against.

In my case, I think it’s probably a good thing that I have a full-time job that requires me to, you know, work during the day. This means that if I play, I’m playing against the middle school kid, Timmy who got off school at 4pm and has been playing ever since then and it’s 10pm. Timmy and his friends are in a clan where they’ve all made their Halo 3 emblem look like balls, and during the game, while I’m getting pwned, I’m also getting t-bagged by frickin’ 13 year olds.

But, I digress. Deep breath.

Okay, another think I have issues with is making up words. Like, PWNED. Now, I do remember when people used to get “owned” and I was okay with that. It had a good ring to it. Then people got “Uber owned.” And then it changed to “pwned.” Three consanants in a row shouldn’t be considered a word. Although I like that they at least treat it like a real verb and conjugate it properly depending on the situation. PWNED, PWNING, PWNS. Give credit where credit is due, I guess.

Anyway, recently me and a friend were playing Halo 3 and this 12 year old kid starts talking about how he was going to PWN us. Neither of us are any match for a group of 12 year olds in the videogaming world because they’re the equivalent of bullies in school. No sympathy. But, being the smart alecs the both of us are, we decided to play dumb and ask what PWN meant.

Needless to say, he was frustrated. He hasn’t been talking long enough to know that it’s not a real word.

Then, we threw the icing on the cake. We made up a word of our own. Foglobulate. It means to utterly destroy your opponent. So, every time we killed the kid, we yelled, “You just got foglobulated!”

It seemed to piss him off so bad that he wound up quitting.

So, if you’re in a nerd battle online, in Halo 3, and you’re positive they’re 12-13, just remember that they’re not smarter than you. So, go foglobulate some kids and piss ‘em off.